It's nothing new. We've all had to deal with it. It just seems much more intense now that I'm so close to it

the doctor tells me to relax and stand still
and perscribes me a new pill to quell my anger
I wish i could make her pull herself up off the floor

I've got tawnberry. nothing is wrong. I am not doing my homework. I don't want to, I don't need to. why should I if there are other things to attend to?

She's not here with me. my mind wanders.
My mind wanders even if she (whoever she is) is in my arms or kissing me. nothing new.

there's someone in missouri i fell in love with over break. missouri. thats a day long drive. I could marry her if only we could be only a tenth of the distance appart. one in michigan is coming to see me (and others) in only a couple weeks. there are a few at the other end of this building. there are so many on this campus. I am specced for polygamy...even just in thougths and dreams, but that is not the skillset I am leaning towards using. I want to ....just drive off somewhere. Minnessota or montana...one of those m-states...and just keep moving. I don't want to stay here. I just want to go. I'm tired...maybe i'll sleep and never wake up from my dreams.

i'll wake up soon and it won't feel so bad...i'll be content. life is, after all, quite grand atm.